


I'll Have A Pint With You, Sir

by shessocold



Series: AUs [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Banter, Bars and Pubs, Bisexual Remus Lupin, First Dates, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Sirius Black, Love at First Sight, M/M, Middle Aged Characters, Minor Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Modern Era, One Shot, POV Remus Lupin, Past Relationship(s), Past Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks - Freeform, Pizza, References to Teddy Lupin, Spontaneous First Date, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 15:37:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14240430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shessocold/pseuds/shessocold
Summary: A crowded pub is a terrible place to work on your book, Remus.





	I'll Have A Pint With You, Sir

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Starstruck4Moony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starstruck4Moony/gifts).



> A not particularly faithful execution of a prompt that the lovely @starstruck4moony gave me: 
> 
> Wolfstar Prompt: Sirius had had the longest day of his life. He was tired of the “doctor’s orders” and needed to get out of the house. He caught a cab, since his bike was still in the shop (hopefully it’d be fixed before his leg healed), and finally hobbled his way into his favorite pub. He tried pushing his way through, but it was difficult with his crutches. There weren’t any seats at the bar, but finally, he spotted one open chair at a table in the corner. He hobbled his way over. “Mind if I sit here?”, he asked the man who looked up at the question. Sirius’s grin broke out over his entire face. He couldn’t believe the luck he had, broken leg and all had brought him in front of this beautiful man, who blushed when he saw him.

"Mind if I sit here? There are no tables left."

"Yeah, mate, no problem," says Remus, without taking his eyes off his notebook. "Just give me a second to finish the sentence, and I'll tidy up this mess." 

"No worries," says the other man, "I just need the chair. You see, I'm not really supposed to be out and about. Doctor's orders. But on a nice day like this? No way I was going to stay home." 

Remus looks up from his work, intrigued. His interlocutor is tall, handsome and around his age, with very dark hair and the sort of tanned, freckled complexion that makes Remus suspect a very long time spent under a very harsh sun, and he's holding a pint in one hand and a crutch under the opposite arm. Remus looks down: there's a cast on the man's right leg. 

"And you should see the other bloke," says the man, grinning, as he gingerly lowers himself onto the chair. He has a beautiful smile. "Nah, I'm joking, the other bloke is a road in Panama. I'm afraid I only have myself to blame." 

"A road in Panama?" 

"Yeah. Pretty embarassing, honestly. Wrecked my bike and everything." 

"I have to say, I'm sort of relieved," says Remus, tidying up his pile of books and loose sheets of paper to make room for the stranger's glass. "The way you said you had 'doctor's orders' not to go outside was slightly alarming — I thought you had, I don't know, the plague." 

The man snorts. 

"Maybe I _also_ have the plague, how can you be so sure that I don't?" 

"Well, it seems statistically unlikely," says Remus, pretending to think about it. "All in all, I'm willing to take my chances. Do you live in Panama?" 

"I used to," says the man, and he grimaces. "Who knows if I'll be able to go back, after this." 

"I'm sorry about that," offers Remus, not quite truthfully. "Were you there for a long time?" 

"Almost twenty years, on and off," says the man, with a sigh. "Oh, by the way, I'm serious." 

"About what?" 

The man grins again. He has the whitest, nicest teeth Remus has ever seen. 

"No, I said that I'm S-I-R-I-U-S. That's my name. Nice to meet you." 

"Oh, _Sirius_. Like the star?" 

"Yeah, exactly. And let me tell you, all considered, I got off lightly. My poor brother is Regulus." 

Remus grins. 

"Your parents were _really_ committed to the whole astronomical thing, weren't they?" 

Sirius nods grimly, a mischievous sparkle in his beautiful grey eyes. 

"My middle name is Orion." 

"It isn't!" 

"It is too. The only thing that got me through boarding school was that my best friend's middle name was _Fleamont_. We bonded over that." 

Remus laughs. 

"All right, I have a worse one. My... er, my ex, the poor thing," he says, leaning forward slightly, and he's thrilled to notice that Sirius is mirroring his gesture. "Well, her mother went and named her _Nymphadora_. Unsurprisingly, she goes by her last name." 

Sirius almost chokes on his beer. 

"Wait, not Nymphadora Tonks?" 

"Er, yeah," admits Remus, sensing that he's made a gaffe. 

Sirius runs his hand through his hair. 

"She's my cousin," he says, eventually, and he doesn't sound particularly happy about the whole thing. "And you are her ex, which means that you must be Teddy's..." 

"... father, yeah. Remus. Nice to meet you." 

Sirius stares at Remus for a moment. 

"I always wondered what could have possibly made Dora marry a bloke," he says, his face unreadable. "I guess I understand now." 

"She's great," says Remus, because it's true. "But it wasn't much of a marriage, for obvious reasons. We're both much happier now." 

"I can imagine, yeah," says Sirius, with the ghost of a smile. To Remus' dismay, he has switched to a very mate-y tone. _I swing both ways,_ he imagines saying, _it's not just women, Dora wouldn't mind, I promise, please start flirting with me again, please._

"What are you doing for dinner?" he says, instead, trying to sound appealing. "I was thinking fish and chips. Do you perhaps want to defy your doctor's orders a bit longer and join me?" 

"I would love to," says Sirius. "But my leg is killing me." 

"Oh. Right. Maybe some other time?" 

"Yeah," says Sirius, and he takes a sip of his drink. _He really is very handsome_ , thinks Remus. _And nice, too. Why didn't I keep my stupid mouth shut about Dora?_

"I mean it," he says, hoping he's not coming off as desperate. "I can give you my number, if you want—" 

"Look, why don't you come home with me?" says Sirius, all of a sudden. "I can't really cook, but we could order a pizza or something. I could really use some company." 

Remus smiles. 

"Yeah, that would be brilliant." 

** 

"Wow. Lovely place," says Remus, impressed by the opulence of their surroundings. Sirius grins. 

"No thanks to me," he says, hobbling towards what appears to be the dining room. "Before last week, I hadn't set foot in this house in thirty years. I suspect my cousins would appreciate it much more than I do, but I needed somewhere to stay, so. The only real drawback is that all the bedrooms are on the upper floors, and let me tell you, those old staircases are _steep_." 

"Oh. Right. How do you... ?" 

"I don't," says Sirius, and he gestures towards the camp bed he's set up in a corner of the dining room. "Quite forward of me, I realize, to invite a strange bloke into what's techically my bedroom. But you know, seeing as you are basically family..." 

Remus makes a face. 

" _Please_ don't say that." 

Sirius snorts. 

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to be a part of this family either, if I could help it." 

"Wait, I didn't mean it like that." 

"Ssh, I know, I'm just giving you a hard time," says Sirius, smiling up at Remus from one of his elaborately ornate dining chairs. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, stay tuned for another episode of 'Sirius tries to take off his boot without falling arse over tit'." 

"Do you need a hand?" 

"Oh, no, please, I couldn't possibly ask you to..." 

"Really, it's no bother." 

"Well — thank you, then," says Sirius, as Remus kneels in front of him to unbuckle the boot on his uninjured foot. "I should probably start wearing, I don't know, slippers. Velcro shoes. Sensible stuff." 

"Sensible is overrated," says Remus, who actually greatly values order and sensibility, but not as much as he values the idea of possibly getting Sirius out of his sexy clothes and into a bed. It's been _ages_. "All right, what about that pizza?" 

** 

"So, have you ever been married?" 

Sirius shakes his head. 

"Nope. No marriages, no kids, no fixed address, nothing at all," he says, tilting his chair back. "Pushing fifty, and nothing to show for it. I wouldn't have it any other way." 

Remus grins. 

"Well, of course a man can only _presume_ that he doesn't have any kids that he doesn't know about, if you really think about it." 

Sirius laughs. 

"Believe me, I know for sure," he says, giving Remus a meaningful look. "Barring some serious subversion of the rules of biology as we know them. And even then, actually, I think I would have been the one who noticed. If you know what I mean." 

"Oh," says Remus, intrigued by the implications. "Yeah, I think I do." 

"How about you?" says Sirius, his gaze piercing, his tone studiously casual. "Were all of your past love affairs of the 'you can only presume' sort?" 

"Most of them," admits Remus. "But I've definitely played both fields. If you know what I mean." 

Sirius stares at him for a moment, his face impassive. 

"I lied to you," he announces, and he picks up the last slice of pizza. Remus feels his heart sink. 

"Oh. Right. About what?" 

"About there being no free tables left at the pub," says Sirius, and he grins. "I just needed an excuse to come chat you up, and I chose the easiest one. Will you forgive me?" 

Remus grins back. 

"I don't know, Sirius, a lie is a lie. Pretty heavy stuff. You will need to find a way to make up for it." 

"Sounds fair," says Sirius, and he bites happily into into his slice.

**Author's Note:**

> So, it never came up, but Sirius' job that brought him to Central America is INDIANA JONES. Not 'archeologist', not 'professor', just straight up INDIANA JONES. 
> 
> Remus is writing a book on Welsh folklore.


End file.
